Coping with death, separation and loss

Abstract

Grief is a normal process to a loss of a person (loved one), thing (precious possession) or relationships (friends, pets) for which we have cared deeply. Our goal is not to avoid grief but to deal with it wisely and creatively. Unresolved grief can be very harmful. It may be compounded with confusion, guilt, fear, and isolation and can lead to physical illness.

Most experts agree that overcoming grief is work thus the term “grief work” is commonly used when dealing with bereavement. Grief work refers to our ability to go through the dynamics of grieving. In each of us the degree of experiencing the loss (or losses) brings forth varied responses due mainly to the differences of our inner personal dynamics in responding to outside stimuli. There are however, areas of convergence in dealing with the dynamics of grieving.

Erich Lindermann listed 6 categories of grief work one must undergo leading towards healing. These are the following: 1. Facing Pain 2. Permitting emotional expression 3. Emancipation of bondage to the other 4. Readjustment to altered environment 5. Formation of new relationships 6. Acceptance

I will attempt to use these categories of “grief work” using my personal experience as a point of reference in exploring this subject. This presentation is partly academic and partly autobiographical.