Pastoral ministry among problem students in Filamer Christian College

Abstract

The past few years have witnessed a growing concern for Pastoral Ministry through counseling. A ministry that concerns healing, sustaining, guiding and reconciling a person who is in crisis situation. Pastoral counseling actually helps and restores many depressed people to their normal way of living. In the end they were able to establish a healthy relationship with their fellows and above all to God. This paper has been written to document struggles which were experienced by students, and give some information on how Pastoral Counseling Process was able to help. In addition, it also identifies the most significant problems that victimized our young people, through which without someone’s help, they remain in difficulties and that their studies and future ultimately destroyed. In the light of my Christian Ministry as counselor in Filamer Christian College, the most significant problem that I have noticed is difficulty in family relationships. These problems in relationship are manifested in different forms; e.g. death of one of the parents, infidelity which leads to separation, wives and children battery. In addition, some parents do not have enough time for their children and therefore some good parental models for children to follow are lost. Brian Grant (1986) (p. 45) stated that families influence the children very much because parents bring a complex repertoire of personal preferences, personality structures and specific practical skills, by which each child is affected emotionally. No doubt, children expect their parents to be the source of guidance, protection and provisions so that when these expectations fail, children, undoubtedly become emotionally disturbed. In addition to family problems, young people are troubled by their being teenager and adolescent. The word adolescent comes from a Latin term adolescere, which means to grow together to maturity. Apparently it has been a troublesome period in man’s growth. Shakespeare in, “A Winter’s Tale” wrote, “I would there were no age between ten and three and twenty, or that youth would step out the rest. But this years exist, and that do have peculiar problems needs." Erik Erickson (1982) has called this stage in man’s growth the age of identity crisis. Adults can be of most help at that age of young people by being available when needed, serving as a sounding board to the young’s ideas and questions. It is time of ups and downs as well as time of changing interest. What holds their attention today may bore them tomorrow. The help of a trained professional would be valuable in this respect. Counseling which is an integral part of the Pastoral Ministry is one of the most effective tools to address these issues. Counseling is intended to help, to guide and to restore a person into wholeness of life’s relationship. It is admitted that the degree to which a counselee is helped will depend upon whether his problem is within the scope of Pastoral Counseling and upon his own readiness for help. For almost fifteen years of observing and experiencing, it was observed that old and deeply buried problems cannot be overcome by few sessions. These may however release some insights, but the problem is still there. On the other hand, those who lack the determination to overcome their problem can scarcely make a rapid progress, but they may gain satisfaction from a counseling relationship, which will bring that person back for another session. Pastoral Ministry is a part of the Christian task which seeks to give strength and guidance to persons who are going through periods of stress and anxiety and who are confronted with profound changes in their lifestyle. Serving them needs intelligence, sensitivity and sharing, discovering and working together and above all relying upon God’s grace for the result. Charles and Erica H. Morris, (p. 13), points out the three basic words which are vital in counseling process. They are helping, caring, and enabling the person to be restored to his normal self. Helping is the key word in counseling. A counselee comes because he needs help. For a Pastor this is not an option but an obligation to extend help to someone who is in need. A counselor who has been helped in life’s struggles, could relate effectively because he has experienced God’s provision sufficient for his own needs. A line from a hymn, “Give of your Best to the Master” says, “Give as it was given to you in your need. Love as the master loved you. Be to the helpless a helper indeed.” This is an old truism upon which Pastoral Ministry is rooted. Another word is caring, it gives strength to the counselee, for he finds someone who could provide companionship, counsel and consolation. This attitude is an evidence of what the child of God is expected to do (II Peter 1:7; 1 John 3:10). In this process the counselor is also benefited because of the feeling that he is needed and being involved in the problem of others, has an energizing effect. On the other hand it is also admitted that sometimes a counselor is confronted by needs that cannot be accommodated. So, the support of other helpers are needed. As what happened to Moses when his hands grew tired, they put a rock in place, for him to sit on. Meanwhile, Aaron and Hur supported his hands, each one on either side, so that his hands remained steady till sunset. (Ex. 17: 8ff) A caregiver is aware, that the outcome and the success in the counseling process is not entirely in his hands. The third word is enabling. The counselor is an enabler who helps the counselee to interact with others. A person who is in crisis is not able to do things in the right perspectives. By working together, the counselee and the counselor would be able to find out the real problem that would lead to proper choices of what to do. It is on this process that the counselee is encouraged to analyze the problem its possible solution and their consequence. This paper will demonstrate how students have been helped in their struggles, such as loss of a parent, lack of parental guidance, irresponsible parent and as victim of a broken home. This paper will also argue on how the professional qualities of the counselor have imparted to the counselee with the use of relevant resources and tools, such as, verbatim report interviews and dialogue which when well presented, maybe of help in the counseling process. This aims to illustrate the ways skills and methods of counseling are employed by the counselor, including enhancing collaborative efforts by utilizing feed backs from clinical associates. In the treatment of the subject matter, Pastoral Ministry through counseling is a very important venue to help, guide and restore a person, who is struggling emotionally and spiritually. This paper shows how students with problems had been helped. It has been done through observation and actual caring. Four illustrations, by verbatim report was conducted. Pastoral counseling moves in this direction, to present an integration of the simple basic counseling technique of listening with Biblical and theological encouragement. The main concern here is how a specific circumstance could affect a person over a period of time and how Pastoral Ministry could help the person in the journey towards the healing process. Objectives of the Study In general, this study was conducted in order to give the readers, counseling teachers, pastors, and laymen a guide on source of information, related to problems, so that if ever they meet certain relationships on the part of students with the members of their family, and peer, they can easily identify it and can make the necessary strategies or actions to help solve the problem in any given situation. Likewise, it can also help the students by means of lifting up their morale and helping them to understand and solve their problems and by so doing, face the situation.