The responsibility of pastoral care in Christian marriage: A study of the problems of Christian marriage faced by the Christian church of Central Sulawesi

Abstract

Marriage is an important event in human life. It is, therefore, necessary to be examined and be given appropriate pastoral care, so to make marriage last in accordance with its nature and purpose. The marriage of the Christians who belong to the Central Sulawesi Christian Church (GKST) is closely related to the tribal traditional law. Christians who wish to marry certainly tie their marriage with the bond of the authority of the traditional law. Because traditional law still plays a role in the lives of the Christians, especially in their married lives. From the beginning of the process when of a young man and young woman desire to enter marriage, the arrangements are handled by the traditional law. There is hardly a wedding of Christians belonging to GKST whose arrangements are not handled by the society of the traditional law, i.e. the Traditional Council (Majelis Adat). The traditional law is equipped with its conditions and stages in the arrangement of marriage: the choice of a husband or a wife, proposal, engagement, ratification, and preparation of the marriage feast. Indeed, hot only is the marriage bond organized by traditional law, but divorce is always handled by the Traditional Council by applying the sanction of the law. But however firm and orderly the marriage arrangements are by the law, there are still problems which arise both from within and from outside which tend to destroy marriage. E.g. a future bride may be pregnant. Although according to traditional law people who are officially engaged may not have free inter- course, yet pregnancies still occur before they enter marriage. Another negative matter which arises from marriages which are arranged by the traditional law is the fixing of the material which is to be handed over by the bridegroom’s family to the bride's. This often causes disputes between the two families, if negotiations in the matter are not carried out in the best possible way. Marriage is a means of establishing a family. This also is known by the traditional law. But we do not find any device or method for the maintenance of family life in the traditional law. The question now arises whether the marriage of a member of GKST is truly Christian, if the whole wedding is organized and legalized according to traditional law. In reality, the whole form, method and process of marriage according to traditional law is accepted and Christianized. This means that in the ceremony the traditional law is always accompanied and strengthened by the proclamation of the Word of God through worship, at least with a prayer. But in addition to Christianizing marriage according to traditional law, GKST has its own Marriage Regulations, which are compiled on the basis of the Bible, The Church has decided on condition of marriage which are to be followed and obeyed by its members. With the Church Marriage Regulations, it is hoped that all Church members who wish to enter married lives will reach the intended summit before the Lord without short comings. According to the Church Marriage Regulations, a marriage is legalized or confirmed with the proclamation of the Word of God in the worship of the congregation. And it is hoped that such legalization/confirmation, which is considered the climax of the Christian wedding, will be attained by all married Christians. But seen from the view point of pastoral care, the Marriage Regulations which regulate the marriage of its members are not yet an efficient intensive or effective means towards that goal. In addition, in the Church Marriage Regulations we do not find a design, method or characteristic of the special pastoral care for couples intending to enter a new life in marriage. Neither do we find a design or method for building up a family as the kernel of congregational life and as the kernel of community life. The application of the Marriage Regulations concerning the marital lives of its members is rather strict and severe. It is therefore often felt by church members that the application of the Marriage Regulations is only to bring down the verdict on church members considered to be at fault in their married lives. In connection with the application of Marriage Regulations and the use of sanction in Christian marriage, GKST has had a long struggle. The result of that struggle is finally felt to satisfy the Church, members. Because according to the Church Marriage Regulations which are now valid, all Christian marriages can be legalized/confirmed in Church. This is- different from the old Church Marriage Regulations, because of whose severity a wedding may sometimes not be legalized/ con- firmed by the Church. A problem now arises in the administration of the new Marriage Regulations, more and more prospective brides and bridegrooms who have sexual intercourse before marriage. There is an opportunity nevertheless for all marriages to be legalized/confirmed by the Church, provided that they confess their sin in the congregational session. While in the old Church Marriage Regulations the Church must carry out discipline or punishment for one year before the wedding could be legalised/confirmed in the Church. Up till now the Church has been feeling how great the challenge of pastoral care in marriage situations is. In connection with this the Church ought to become conscious also how great the reality of marriage is, and the up building of the life of marriage and the Christian family should be thoroughly attended to. The Church must think about an intensive and effective means of care for the married couples and those to be married. The reality and purpose of Christian marriage which is based on the Biblical witness of Old and New Testament must be the subject of deeper teaching to all Church members. Only through good true pastoral care will the Christian marriages and families grow and develop maturely. The Church has the obligation to carry out pastoral care in accordance with the design and method suited to the will of the Lord.